Last reviewed: September 4, 2026
A useful nanny reference check confirms identity, relationship, employment dates, schedule, duties, reliability, communication, reason the role ended, and whether the reference would rehire. Ask the candidate for permission, use the same core questions for each finalist, record concrete examples, and follow up on discrepancies without requesting private information about another family.
Reference calls are one screening layer. They do not replace lawful background checks, work-authorization duties, a written agreement, or ongoing supervision.
Get permission and correct contact details
Ask the candidate to provide each reference’s name, relationship, phone/email, role dates, and the facts the reference is authorized to discuss. Confirm whether the reference was the direct household employer, an agency supervisor, a coworker, or a personal reference. These perspectives are not interchangeable.
Use independently verifiable contact information where reasonable. A reference using a personal phone number may be legitimate for household employment, but ask enough context to understand the relationship. Do not use deception to access private accounts.
Practical component: the seven-minute reference script
Hello, my name is [name]. [Candidate] gave permission for me to contact you regarding a childcare position and said you were [relationship] from approximately [dates]. Is now a good time for a brief reference conversation? I will ask about job-related experience and will not request private information about your family.
Then ask:
- In what capacity did you work with or employ the candidate?
- What dates and typical weekly schedule do you remember?
- What were the primary duties and level of independence?
- What did the candidate do reliably well? Could you give one example?
- How did the candidate communicate routine updates, schedule changes, and concerns?
- How were attendance and punctuality handled?
- What type of direction or feedback helped the candidate work best?
- Why did the role end, to the extent you can share?
- Would you rehire the candidate for a similar role? Why or why not?
- Is there anything about the job facts I should verify directly with the candidate?
Close by thanking the reference and confirming you will not quote them publicly.
Use a fact-and-example note sheet
| Item | Candidate stated | Reference stated | Match? | Follow-up |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Relationship | ||||
| Dates | ||||
| Days/hours | ||||
| Number/ages of children at the time | ||||
| Core duties | ||||
| Driving/travel if job-related | ||||
| Reason role ended | ||||
| Rehire response |
Record exact facts and short examples. Do not create a medical, immigration, family-history, or personality dossier.
Ask for examples, not adjectives
“Reliable” means little without context. Ask, “Can you describe how schedule changes were communicated?” “Wonderful with children” can become, “What did you observe that led you to that view?”
Examples help distinguish direct knowledge from a general endorsement. A reference may be unwilling or legally constrained from answering some questions; record “not answered” rather than treating silence as negative evidence.
Respect the prior family’s privacy
Do not ask for a child’s diagnosis, behavior history, school, daily schedule, photos, address, or private family conflict. You can ask about the candidate’s job duties and communication without learning why a specific child needed care.
If the reference volunteers sensitive details, redirect: “Thank you; I do not need private family information. Could you describe what the candidate was responsible for and how they communicated?”
Resolve discrepancies fairly
A difference in dates may be a memory error, a payroll date versus active-work date, or a serious inconsistency. Ask the candidate neutrally:
The reference remembered the regular schedule as September through May, while your application lists August through June. Could you help me understand the difference and provide any record that clarifies it?
Give the candidate a chance to explain. Apply the same materiality standard to every finalist. Do not use reference checking selectively based on a protected characteristic.
Distinguish references from consumer reports
An ordinary reference conversation and a background report purchased from a company may trigger different legal duties. The FTC explains that when an employer uses a company in the business of compiling background information for employment decisions, the Fair Credit Reporting Act generally requires a clear stand-alone disclosure and written permission before obtaining the report, plus specific steps before and after adverse action.
State or local rules may impose additional requirements. If you plan to combine reference calls with a screening service, understand each process before starting.
Watch for weak reference patterns
Follow up when:
- all references are personal and none supervised the work;
- contact information or relationship cannot be reasonably understood;
- dates and duties differ materially across accounts;
- the reference appears coached but cannot give a basic example;
- the candidate refuses any job-related verification without explanation;
- a reference raises a specific job-related concern.
These are reasons to gather more information, not automatic proof of misconduct.
Keep and dispose of notes responsibly
Limit the note to information relevant to the role. Protect contact details, apply a consistent retention practice, and do not share the reference’s words beyond the hiring decision without a lawful need. If you use a consumer-reporting company, follow the FTC’s disposal and adverse-action guidance.
Frequently asked questions
How many references should I call?
There is no universal number. Seek enough direct, recent, job-related information to verify material experience, and apply the same standard to comparable candidates.
What if a prior family will only confirm dates?
Record what it confirms. Ask the candidate for another authorized supervisor or evidence of duties. Do not assume a limited-response policy means a negative reference.
Can I contact someone the candidate did not list?
Discuss the plan with the candidate and comply with applicable law and privacy expectations. Secret outreach can expose a current job search or obtain unreliable information.
Should I ask about salary?
Salary-history restrictions exist in some jurisdictions. Set pay for the current role using its duties, market, and legal requirements; get local advice before asking prior compensation.
Official sources
- FTC and EEOC: Background checks—what employers need to know
- FTC: Keep required background-check disclosures simple
- U.S. Department of Labor: Domestic service worker fact sheets
Continue planning with Morrow Mama
Related guides: nanny interview scorecard, nanny background-check plan, and nanny work agreement.
The Morrow Mama Childcare & Return-to-Work Toolkit helps you compare caregiver candidates and track open verification steps. It is a planning tool, not a background-screening or placement service.